Zombie Apocolypse
by TinkLoloa
Summary: a funny story about 4 guys and 2 girl surviving an apocolypse. This was written by my brother and his friends the asked me to download it


**Zombie Apocolypse - Day 1**

First day of the facebook outbreak. Me, Caleb, Colton and Nathan are holed up in a sketchy crack addict's former apartment...smells like crap. We can hear the zombies everywhere. We've barricaded the door with a dresser and the crack addict's fridge. Food supplies are low, the crackhead obviously didn't eat out of the four food groups. All that was in the fridge was a scale, and cheese that expired on November 13, 1932. Nathan tried to eat it because we dared him to, but it turned out that 77 year old cheese is enough to knock someone out with one sniff. We spent the next 5 hours trying to bring Nathan back to life, and succeeded after we threw him at a wall. We knew this day would come sooner or later. Those poor corrupted souls... they've been hunting for a computer with a working facebook account all over the place. They're like animals. The zombies have left us alone for the night, but we have a feeling they'll be back. So far, all we've really done is knock Nathan out and injured him. No real progress happening here. We will venture out tomorrow to see if there are any other survivors. We've also put Nathan up against the door with hopes that if the zombies get through somehow, they'll feed on him first and give us a chance to escape out of the window. We'll have to wait and see.

**Zombie Apocolypse - Day 2**

December 22, 2012

We went through the night somewhat safely. Nathan stunk up the whole apartment with his 77 year old cheese, so me and the others had to sleep with masks on.

Instead of being holed up in a crappy apartment, we decided to venture out into the cold cruel world to try to find some other survivors. While we walked along, we came upon a pair of zombies, who looked exactly like my sister and her friend. I had always known that my sister was part zombie, but i had no idea it was THIS bad. The zombies approached us, and because we had no weapons of any sort, we used Nathan as a human club. His head is quite effective against the little ones. However i do feel sort of guilty because after the intense battle, Nathan went into a coma.

We venture forward, dragging Nathan behind us, hoping to find others who have survived this horrible ordeal. We came upon a little bunker, so we went inside. To our surprise, we found Brighton all by herself in the bunker, surrounded by bazookas, sniper rifles, machine guns, and chainsaws. Clearly she saw this coming and got prepared, making us all look like total ass-hats. We asked to join her and share weapons. She wanted to know if we had any weapons to share, but when we held up Nathan and told her about his effectiveness as a club, she said never mind.

Nathan woke up several hours later, not remembering anything. So we told him he was attacked by vicious gamer-hungry zombies. He doesn't suspect a thing. So we joined forces with Brighton and her artillery of weapons of mass destruction. Our plan for tomorrow: zombie huntin'. Colton thought of a plan to send Nathan on a kamikaze mission, but Caleb disagreed and said we should use him as a melee weapon in case a zombie gets too close. Nathan in his coma at this point, so he had no say in this, but i guess that's what you get for sleeping on the job.

**Zombie Apocalypse - Day 3**

December 23, 2012 - Day 3

Quite tired. Spend most of the day throwing nathan around at the zombies. Luckily, he's getting lighter due to a lack of food supplies. So to make it easier for us, we've decided to give him bread and water until this ordeal is over because i don't think i could throw him if he suddenly became morbidly obese. Brighton's weapons were a great help in our fights. Caleb was shooting zombies with a nail gun, and when it was all over, he was trying to reload the nails, and he pressed the trigger by mistake. The nail went clean through Nathan's foot and while we tried to get the nail out, he uttered some curse words that are too nasty to repeat. For the remainder of the day, Nathan tried to get revenge. He succeeded when he found a monster truck tire in the field, and rolled it down a hill and flattened Caleb. Caleb looked like he'd just been humped by a humpback whale. Poor guy.

We went out into the city because we were getting low on supplies. We tried the no frills, but a bunch of old ffat people were there so that was no good. We went into Zellers to get some snacks, and we found Marina Parnham wandering through the toys section. Nathan tapped her on the shoulder, and Marina (being the sketch that she is) grabbed his arm, twisted it, flipped him, dragged him across the floor face down and knocked him into a pile of buzz lightyear toys. We left him there for a little bit because the whole "getting knocked out" thing was gettin' old. It was funny at first, but someone needs to tell him that it ain't funny anymore. Marina had thought that he was a zombie or something, and reacted on instinct. Nathan should've been more prepared. We saw Marina as a valuable member to our group. We invited her in on the condition that she doesn't throw us, punch us, kick us, drag us, etc etc. Nathan woke up a while later and at the moment, he's actually scared shitless of Marina's kung fu skillz. We told him to suck it up.

**Zombie Apocalypse - Day 4**

December 24, 2012 - Day 4

Keeping this one short today because Colton and Caleb are both trying to shove Nathan into a metal box for some reason, and they're yelling at me to help. I don't know why Nathan gets picked on so much, but it's quite fun. No offense to him though. He has his uses. He can fit into small spaces where the others and i can't, he's quite smart and wise in the world of gaming. He knows the zombies' weaknesses, and their behavior. I assume it's because he spends quite a bit of time playing video games, which apparently everyone should've done. Last but not least, he's quite an effective weapon. His skull has adapted to the constant impact, and has gotten considerably harder now, making him an even better weapon, and the best part is that he goes unconscious only half the time now. Anywho, we're all glad to have him with us.

We didn't really do much today... we sat around Zellers munching on snacks. Colton, Caleb, Nathan and I decided to race Brighton and Marina around Zellers in shopping carts. Nathan and I won, naturally, and Colton and Caleb came in a close second. However, Nathan and I weren't able to stop due to our great speed, and we collided full speed into the snack rack, and Brighton flew with great speed until she hit the ceiling and then came crashing right down onto a pile of doritos. Nathan was mad because now we couldn't eat doritos (they're his favourite) and came after us with 45 pound weights in each hand, threatening to crush our heads in if we ever did anything like that again. He was getting too cocky, so Marina busted out her kung fu moves and taught him his place. Poor guy, if only he'd taken kung fu, he'd be the king of the group. Personally, we're all sort of afraid that Marina will karate chop our heads off or stop our hearts with one punch, or or or just straight up break our jaws. But hopefully we won't do anything that will release her inner bruce lee.

December 25, 2012 - Day 5

Missed a post yesterday due to an zombie invasion on our base. It was an unexpected attack, and the zombies came from all sides. The group fought very hard to defeat the horde of zombies that were coming after us. I took a kayak oar and taped chainsaws to either end (i got the idea from dead rising 2), Nathan used his head obviously, and Caleb acquired a new weapon: the Bonquiquinator - a giant sword similar to Cloud's Buster Sword, Colton now duel wields 2 Colt 45's, Brighton retained her bazooka and sniper rifle, and also acquired a new Thor hammer, and Marina, along with her kung fu skillz, acquired brass knuckles. Our crew is now armed and ready to go.

Today, we went on a serious zombie hunt so we could get them before they get us. We ventured off into Hawk ridge and mowed down zombies down the street. We hid in a rich man's house for a little bit, but the zombies soon found us. Caleb, not knowing exactly how powerful his new sword was, swung it violently, nearly taking off all our heads. After around half a minute of vicious yelling and blaming, we saw that the zombies were getting closer, so Caleb swung his mighty sword and obliterated them all. However, there were more zombies, so Colton decided to test out his two new best friends. Surprisingly, Colton had pretty good aim, and knocked them all on their asses. However, there was a misfire, and Nathan's right ear is now partially mangled. Now we have to talk to him from his left side only. Which will be quite a nuisance when Nathan starts driving and the person in the passenger's seat has to give him directions.

After the Hawk ridge ordeal, we travelled to the closed Sundial Inn only to find more zombies there. God these zombies are like the grade 9's... they're annoying, smelly, ugly and they're everywhere. Naturally, Marina used her Ryu-like fighting skills and knocked some zombies' heads in. Brighton made good use of her new Thor Hammer and crushed them with ease. Nathan was used again as a human bat, and this time, he only left with a major headache, nothing serious. We luckily found a zombie survival kit. Who knew that the old inn had these lying around?

Finally, we ended up hiding in Colton's reinforced basement. 10 inch thick concrete walls surrounding us, Zombie proof ceiling, 4 inch thick concrete reinforced steel door and centuries worth of provisions. It's good to kick back and relax after a good zombie massacre. Nathan is sleeping at the moment. Colton and Caleb are trying to "wake him up"  
*punch* *punch*  
*kick in the jeans*  
*CHARLIE HORSE*  
Another day, successfully survived (Y)


End file.
